“Back to school”, if you can still call it that in October, is hands down my favorite time of year. And not just because I love me some poncho weather and a good PSL. My favorite part of starting a new school year is that it’s a chance to start fresh. It’s kind of like another New Years, and mine is full of resolutions like “healthier meals” after a summer of hot dogs for dinner and ice cream sandwiches for lunch at the pool.

The problem is that, much like my New Years resolutions, my resolve lasts about a week.

On the first day of school, breakfast looked like this:


By the second week of school, breakfast looked like this:


Not only is this about the poorest effort you can put into breakfast, but I also ate half of Alex’s waffle before it even made it onto his placemat.

Also the fish tank in that picture hasn’t been cleaned since. Dory is still kicking in there, but if I don’t do something soon she is going to suffocate her own fecal matter.

Another resoltion is “structured and meaningful activities”, after a summer of turning on the sprinkler for the brats while I settle into a lawn chair with a margarita. Like meals, this goal has also taken a nosedive this week.

I have two younger kids to entertain while my eldest is at her various activities. On the first week of said activities, I was making “busy boxes” for them, full of favorite toys and activities to stimulate their little baby/toddler imaginations.


Fast forward to today at Evelyn’s dance and Alex was practicing his somersaults and his megaphone impression in the lobby where other grown-ups were trying to work, and Lottie was chewing on a Tampon because I forgot to bring her teethers along.


Furthermore, the child we were there for, who three weeks ago was appropriately clad for ballet, came out of her class looking like this:


I’m no dance expert, but I think that gaping hole that she BIT through her tights is not going to be acceptable.

Both my younger kids get dragged along to Evelyn’s activities, but Alex is finally at an age this year where he should probably be getting some educational activities of his own. And that was my original plan — to spend some time working on things like the alphabet and his colors with him while Evelyn was in school.

Instead I’ve dragged him with me on errands and thrown Lindt truffles at him to keep him quiet.


I DID tell him his hands were brown, and that brown starts with a B.

Whatever. I’m good at other things.

It’s not like this all the time, I think we’re just having a week. Alex is being a jerk and no one is sleeping and we have a birthday party coming up this weekend and so my “busy-box-making” time has been spent cleaning and baking and Dollar-Store-Favor-shopping and contemplating whether or not a piñata is a terrible idea.

Next week will be better. Sunday I’ll make brand new resolutions, and I’ll be glad I documented this week’s parenting low, because there’s nowhere to go from here but up.

For now, I’ve poured myself a little glass of wine and will be spending tonight recovering from today.